On being a grown-up

Didn't life seem so much simpler when we all looked like this ^^^^ (side note: I seriously hope our kids look like Tay when he was a baby!)

Being a grown up is scary sometimes. Granted, I didn't just become one so this isn't news to me, but some days I just sit there and the inner kid inside of me thinks yeah, I'd really like to not be a grown up right now or this adult junk is scary or honestly sometimes I think this situation is so uncomfortable I'd rather run and hide like a kid...but I can't. Cause I'm an adult. But that's life. Don't get me wrong, this isn't me subliminally telling you that my life is really hard right now. It's actually really great. But some days being a grown up is scary and stressful.

I've been on the job hunt lately and I hadn't heard back from anyone so this week I've just been enjoying going to the gym, cleaning, trying (key word trying) to cook, etc. Then all of the sudden within three days I heard back from all the jobs I applied for and I obviously don't know which option is best, and which place will even offer me a job, so being prepared to know what to tell them if/when they offer me a job is hard. Long story short I made a big decision and took a leap of faith and turned down a job I had initially accepted. It was kind of my last pick but I accepted because I hadn't received any other offers or interviews. However, Tay and I realized I needed something with more hours and we didn't feel this job was right, even though I was initially somewhat excited about working for the company. I called to tell them yesterday that I had retracted my decision to accept the position, and I felt that I did so at the best time possible (before training starts and before I had signed any paperwork), but the lady was still pretty ticked. I mean I get where she's coming from, but then she tried to tell me "just so you know you're already officially hired so you'll never be considered again", etc. which isn't true because I never gave her my social security number, never signed anything, etc. so I know I couldn't already be technically hired. Either way I felt so bad after, and mostly just felt really uncomfortable and had that yeah, I'd like to run and hide right about now feeling. This obviously isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but this was the first time I had to do something like this and I did not like it. But hey, that's life. I have an interview this coming week for a job I'm really hoping for because I think it will be a much better fit. Any and all good vibes/prayers are welcomed :)

Taylor has just applied for optometry school so now we just wait to hear back. Having our future in the air is something I am not a fan of, because I guess I'm kind of a control freak and I like to always have a plan of action (something I need to work on). So basically in about 6-8 months we could be living in California, Oregon, Ohio, Texas, or Tennessee, who knows?! It's actually pretty exciting when I can keep my nerves out of the way!

But yeah, sometimes I just miss being a kid when you didn't even realize that your parents were going through all the stressful adult stuff.

Other awkward, uncomfortable, and stressful grown-up situations:

-when friends and/or family try to either sell or get you to join an MLM (multilevel marketing scheme...I mean business) ... and they never stop. It's hard to mix business with friends :/

-when people talk to you about highly sensitive political issues and you don't know what their stance is and so you don't want to offend but you want to be honest (some people are really good at talking about these things, but like I mentioned here I'm not good at it)

-when your freezer isn't freezing and your refrigerator isn't cold and your management company is less than helpful and you have to be really upfront and bold with the "emergency" maintenance guys who aren't much help. I don't think I've ever had to be so "demanding" before. I just want cold milk for cereal ok?! (and for my food to not all go bad).

-when people on Facebook comment saying less than smart things (and they're like 17) and you really want to comment and set them straight but you realize you have to be mature cause you're an adult... #sotempting

Oh, the joys of being a grown-up.

Goals for 2014

I've been thinking about "New Year's Resolutions" lately, and I've decided it's a love/hate relationship. I love them because it's always good to make new goals for yourself, and while many people think it's dumb that people "have to wait" until the new year to start being better, I think hey, at least people are trying to change, right?? However, I hate the connotation of the phrase. It's almost cliché to talk about New Year's Resolutions because it's almost a joke that no one ever keeps them. So I've decided to just use the word goal instead, because then it's just like any other goal I make, but it's made at the new year! Here are some of my goals for this year:

#1. I've always struggled a little with confidence with my body because, well, who doesn't? When I was working on my dance minor in college (feels weird that I can say that in the past tense now!) one of my favorite teachers gave us this really neat object lesson during one of our regular dance days. Being a dance teacher, I'm sure she's come across all sorts of people who have complaints about their bodies. Anyway, she brought in at least 30 different containers, bottles, etc. that were originally ketchup, syrup, peanut butter, etc. bottles & containers. She had us look at them all and talk about them all. We came to the conclusion that though all the containers were different, they all served a purposed and had value in some way. She talked about how we all need to understand that though our physical 'containers' are different, they all have something inside them, and that it's not all about what the outside looks like. I always try to remember this lesson when I'm struggling to love my 'container'. I've mentioned before that I've had some severe back problems the past couple years that have limited my physical activity, which has consequently altered my physical appearance a little (not so toned here or there, for example). It's been hard for me to still be grateful for my body since all growing up I've always been active. It's so hard in today's day and age to not compare ourselves to others (thank you, Hollywood). I never realized the harm I was doing to myself when I thought negatively about my body until I started vocalizing my complaints when I got married. It's different when there's someone there to really hear what you're saying about yourself. Taylor has really helped me to understand that I can't say negative things about myself if I want to be happy with myself. All I can do is change my attitude and do the best I can to be healthy. I've also continued to remind myself that healthy doesn't always mean skinny. While there is nothing wrong with being small, everyone is built different. I'm 5'9" and I know that I was not made to be a size 2, so for me healthy doesn't mean a specifically small size. So this goal #1 for 2014 is obviously something I've already been working on, but I think this will probably be on my list for the rest of my life because I think it's something you always have to work at. I want to love my body when I'm the size I am now, when I gain or lose weight (obviously in a healthy manner), and even (& especially) when I'm pregnant and have kids, which explains the "in all its stages" part of the goal. 

#2 Sadly this is something I've always had to work at! I'm not a big reader in the first place, but I have a strong testimony of reading the scriptures (more specifically the Book of Mormon), so this is a very important goal to me. So far I've kept up with it! So what if it's only been 6 days...

#3 If you know me you know that I can be a very opinionated person. However, I very rarely feel confident enough to share my opinions and beliefs with people outside my husband, and close family and friends (obviously there is a right time and place for this) because in today's world there will always be someone who is offended. I've come to understand that my beliefs and opinions about a lot of things in life are generally not very popular among most people in the world. However, I don't feel like that should mean that I need to keep my mouth closed because what I believe isn't popular. This does not mean I have any intentions of putting controversial Facebook statuses up all the time (that seems to be a thing these days), but I want to be able to at least come here to my blog (where people are choosing to read what I write) and share what I believe at times. 

#4 If you are at all a frequent "follower" you'll know that it isn't unlike me to be posting about Christmas in June...I can get really behind. I like writing and keeping a history of our story (I really want to print our blog in a book each year), so I really want to get on top of blogging. I've come across some fun people in the blogging community, so that has gotten me interesting in continuing as well. So, hopefully I'll be writing at least weekly. Hope you don't get sick of me! 

#5 I've seen a lot of bloggers making a "25 before 25" list lately. Basically it's a list of 25 things you want to do before you're 25. I'm only 22 so hopefully I can get some fun stuff in before then! I'll be working on this list and sharing it soon! 

#6 I created Just Buttons & Bows a little over a year ago, and I've had so much fun with it. My cute grandma always tells me that "it's all about the accessories". I truly believe this (and I love making bows). It's been a little crazy running this shop (and now INKH.Designs as well) while going to school and working, so now that I'm done with school (and currently looking for a job) I'm excited to do more with it. I really want to expand my product (headbands, baby bows, maybe bow ties). I also want to get my brand out there by sending bows to bloggers for reviews! We'll see how this goes! 

So there are some of my goals! I continue to think of more things I want to work on, but those were some that I thought would be fun to share here. I am really interested in others' goals, so if you want to share, I want to hear! 

Why I Went to College

After attending my last class ever!!! 

Since graduating a week ago, this is how my conversations have gone with people:

Them: What did you get your degree in? 

Me: English language

Them: oh, cool. so do you want to like teach or something?

Me: no, not really. I don't have a lot of exposure to teaching, but from the little I've had, I'm not super interested in it. 

Them: oh, ok. So are you going to grad school? 

Me: no, I've never felt like that is something that I should or need to do. And I have no desire, so I don't think I would be going for the right reason.

Them: well you never know, maybe you'll change your mind. 

...no, I probably won't. But no, I don't think I wasted my degree either.

(OR, one time I got: soo, why did you go to college?)

       Don't worry, if you're one of the people whom I've had this conversation with, I'm not offended! It's just true--I don't know what I'm doing with my future. But I do have long term goals with Taylor, and I know I'm on the right track for them. 

      If you know me you know I'm a "well-rounded" person. No, I'm not trying to sound stuck-up, I just don't know how else to word that I just kind of have a lot of random interests, hobbies, random work experience (let's just say the Missionary Training Center and Shabby Apple both reside on my resume, and I have a minor in dance--which has nothing to do with my major), etc. That being said, I really don't have an exact "next step" because I don't know.

      Again, if you know me, you know that I am probably the farthest from being a feminist that you can get (you can start throwing stones now, but I would gladly accept the stones while wearing an apron and cleaning my house). My whole life I have loved anything domestic: cooking, cleaning (really, I really love cleaning. It's weird), baking, sewing (loooove sewing), crafting, etc. I personally have no issues with "traditional" gender roles in the home because that' personally what I wanted to be. My whole life I've known that I want to be a mother and a wife above all things. Now, before you start gagging thinking I'm a typical Provo Mormon girl, let me explain.

       I 100% value the idea of having a mom be in the home. I place a high value on being a stay-at-home mom because of personal experience. However, I also 100% value education and being prepared educationally and financially for the future. 

      It has always been my plan to get a degree. I have never known what exactly I wanted to "be" when I grew up, but I knew I should get an education after high school. To be honest for half of my college career I thought I wanted to be an editor. I love grammar, I love knowing all the "rules" of language, and I love words. However, the more I learned about editing, the more I learned I didn't want to be an editor. So I wasted all my time, right? Because what else does someone who spent 3.5 years studying language do for a living? Good question! 

     I'm honestly really happy and proud that I have a degree. I have no idea what I want to do with it yet, or if I will ever work with it. I'm actually really interested in using my minor and starting a little kid dance program. We'll see if that happens. But again, I don't know right now. 

    I've decided that I want to be more concerned with who I want to be than what I want to be. I thoroughly enjoyed studying my major and my minor at BYU. I met awesome people, I learned so much, and I completed (what was for me) a very hard task of getting a degree. So while I don't know what exactly I want to do next in the job-field, I know that I have gained a lot of experience the past four years that will help me in my long-term goal of being a mother, and it will also help me to continue to try to be a loving and supportive wife to my sweet Taylor. 

     In the end, I want to be a good person. I want to continue striving to be a faithful member of my church. I want to be a good wife. And eventually I want to be the best mom I can be to my kids when I have them. I don't feel like I wasted my time or money at BYU just because I'm not necessarily continuing on exactly where I left off. I know that everyone has a different path to take in life. I think it's wonderful that so many people, particularly women, have a set plan educationally and career-wise from the get-go. But I've learned that's not how things are going to play out for me. And that's ok! 

     So, that is why I went to college. Because education is important. Because you never know what will happen in life so you should always be prepared for the unexpected. Because I enjoyed college, and I was able to meet my husband during college. Because "Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection."

So that's why I went to college and got my degree! And that's all :) 

Enjoy the rest of your holiday!!! 

I'm going to blog!

You guys. I have been horrible at blogging. {I say that every time}. It reminds me of when I go back and read my journal and every entry starts with "Well, it's been a while since I've written....lot's has happened..." and when I continue to read I notice that it's been like a year, multiple crushes, and a few weight fluctuations... later. {Procrastination is clearly a problem for me.}

I used to be really good at blogging. I loved sharing my life and experiences with others and getting comments about how people could totally relate to situations and such. It was fun building a little community and learning from other people, but over time I've just become really bad at it, and I've started to feel really silly about just putting random stuff about my life on the internet. Obviously I would never put "too much information" (TMI) type stuff on my blog (cue the awkward FB status-type blog posts...i.e. every detail about someone's marriage that no one wants to hear about), but I started to feel silly blogging about real life because everyone on the internet (i.e. lots of "mommy bloggers" and pins on Pinterest--though I do love me some good pin-sessions) seem to live the picture-perfect life. Because of this I starting feeling awkwardly afraid of just sharing my life just the way it is: so much happiness, but just like any other normal person, a few hardships as well. Do you ever feel like this? Anyway, basically I was afraid of putting myself out there and being vulnerable (do you hate that word? I hate that word. They would always use that word in my dance classes and in my head I was always cringing because when I think of "vulnerable" I think of some crazy emotional girl eating ice cream on her couch crying to the boy who just dumped her, telling him she still loves him..and you're just thinking, STOP, girl, STOP!.. Awkward..) ok....sorry for the side note. If you're worried about my possible diagnosis of A.D.D., don't worry, I'm already diagnosed.

So basically I was afraid of being vulnerable to what people would think of my thoughts, opinions, experiences, etc. that I want to share because I want to share the things I think about, my life, my trials, my triumphs, etc. Basically I started finding waaaay too many over-the-top, let's-do-five-giveaways-a-day-so-I-get-free-clothes, perfectly awesome recipe (I'm not a great cook) blogs, and it kind of discouraged me because I'm still working on getting my domestic skills, people skills, work skills....ok basically I'm still working on getting my whole life together. But who isn't?

I was on LDS.org  a couple weeks ago and found this. It kind of gave me a new perspective on blogging and how the church is actually encouraging blogging to help share spiritual/enlightening experiences and just everyday life experiences of members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. So I've used this as motivation to share my life and my thoughts and experiences. I really do have a great life, and even with the hardships I've had, Heavenly Father has blessed me and helped my husband and me so much so that I want to share those things to help others and to remind myself of my blessings. And sometimes I want to write just for the sake of writing and getting my random thoughts and such out somewhere! So if you're with me and you want to share and hear real-life experiences, a few recipes here and there, pictures, etc. follow me and give me feedback, and please leave a comment with your blog link so that I can follow YOU. I love following fun, down-to-Earth people on their blogs. So please, let me stalk you? Just kidding. Well not really, we all do it.

 Anyway, so here is my commitment (not really to anyone else, but mostly to myself) to do what was mentioned on LDS.org:

1. Write about your day-to-day life

2. Update your blog often

3. Share experiences or what you learn at Church or in your family home evening 

So yes, I'm going to blog! For real! And I'm excited, and that's all. And, please, leave me a comment with your blog link so we can be friends :)

*Kelsey

                                         

                               Some photos from recent happenings that I  haven't blogged about:

4th of July at my Grandpa's house for our family bbq

I turned 22!

I helped throw a bridal shower for one of my best friends/old roommates Lauren! So fun! 

A thought on Creativity...

It's been a while since I've blogged about just thoughts I have. I have a lot of thoughts. Since I have A.D.D. I often find myself and my thoughts all over the place. Recently I've been thinking a lot about the concept of creativity. I'm in a History of Creativity class right now, which has somewhat kept the thought of creativity in my mind as well. As you probably know, I opened my first Etsy shop (Just Buttons & Bows) just in September. It has taught me a lot about business, organization, art, and, of course, creativity.

When I was two years old my mom bought our family a trampoline because I was such an active child she needed something to give me to do with all my energy. When I was four I was enrolled into a program called Creative Dance at BYU. I stayed in that program for fourteen years. It was a way for me to have an outlet for my wannabe-artsy self (I thought I would be an artist one day...ha!) to create things that I love and express it through music and dance. I continued to dance after that program, and I am now working on teaching dance.

Two years ago I was going through a really hard time and I needed to get my mind off of things. I had been handed down my great-grandma's Bernina sewing machine, so I decided to re-develop the talent I had started to build when I was in seventh grade.

I now have my Etsy shop which is my current outlet for my "artsy", energetic, random self. I created my shop because I was looking for something new to have as hobby and I am obsesssssed with bows, sewing, and pretty fabric. I put a lot of hard work into creating my shop and making it my own--different from any other shop I had seen. I've seen so many shops (I've had too much fun browsing on Etsy recently) and I've seen so many amazing things created because of people who have a passion for what they do and the random, fun, unique ideas they have. I have also seen shops that are exactly the same as others, no creativity involved. I've wondered why people go through the effort to open a shop if the only way to create something is by going off of the creativity of someone else. I've had so many friends recently ask me for advice about opening their own shop, which is SO exciting. Some of these friends are even selling bows and things similar to mine, which is great! I didn't personally invent bows or earrings, so obviously I'm not bothered these people are opening shops similar to mine, because they're being creative. They are making something generic their own. I'm so excited for these friends to find the joy in doing what I've had a blast doing for the past few months. It's been exciting to share excitement and encouragement to friends who have so many creative ideas that they are about to do amazing things with.

I'm so grateful for everyone who has supported me with my shop. I don't have a shop to make money. Honestly, making money is basically only necessary so that I can have my shop open. I just love sharing something that I love doing with other people. So thank you to everyone who has supported me since day one (September 19, I think?). I'm grateful to have people in my life who still support the two-year-old inside of me who still needs a creative outlet. Thank you, you guys are the best :).


Just for fun, I was able to get a map of all the cities that things from my Etsy shop have gone. It makes me so excited to see all the places that my work has gone!

Tender Mercies and Reminders

Hi friends,

I know Thanksgiving is over (I still have one of those "I'm thankful for..." posts I'm working on, because I didn't want to post something every day on FB up until Thanksgiving (not hating on you if you did that :) ). However, recently (meaning like, right now) I've just had small reminders, or tender mercies, about being grateful for what I have now.

In church on Sunday the talks were on gratitude. They both came down to being about being grateful for what we have NOW because it's always possible to find something we 'need', that we don't already have, to be happy...but there's no use in that because we have a lot right in front of us now.

So I'm sitting there in Sacrament meeting thinking about how great my life really is right now, even though sometimes I find many faults with it. One thing in particular I was thinking about that I'm grateful for is my health--particularly for the strength and the non-existence of pain in my back. I've mentioned previously, but this past April I experienced severe muscle spasms in my lower back. It sounds like some crazy out-of-control thing..but that's cause it is. Basically I couldn't walk, sit up, roll to my side, or (sorry if this is TMI) go to the bathroom by myself. I couldn't even stand to shower by myself.

It has taken about 5 months to fully recover (I know that might not sound long to someone who has had worse ailments...but for me as I've been active my whole life, this was very difficult because I couldn't do ANY physical activity). So on Sunday I was thinking about how horrible those days were. I told myself that from that day on I was going to take advantage of my good health and all my other blessings, and make the most of them and enjoy them. That was just yesterday.

Yesterday I woke up with some small pains in my back. Throughout the day it progressively got worse. I went to see the dance trainer at BYU, and that helped a little, but not too much. They told me there that I just have a really unique case of muscle problems and that I'll just have to work my way through it. I had a whole list of things I wanted to get done yesterday and today, taking for granted that I could just do them no problem--something I couldn't have done seven months ago. However, the possible beginning of these back troubles has returned, so I've been faced with the question of whether I'm still willing to make the most of the blessings I have in my life, even if maybe one of my 'blessings' isn't as good as it was yesterday.

Right after reading scriptures and praying with Taylor, I came back to my computer to work on my lesson plan for my dance teaching final tomorrow (something I'm not sure right now how I'm going to get through with my back pains), and Facebook was open (don't lie, yours probably always is too :) and my friend's (who is on a mission right now) sister had just updated my friend's status. It was a long story about a woman serving in my friend's mission who has been having severe health issues. At the very end it said something that reminded me to be grateful:

"Live your lives this week for a miracle". The phrase from my friend's mission president was a request to all the missionaries to live in a way that would help heal the sister on the mission. However, this quote had special meaning for me because it reminded me that I have power in the way I handle my trials (and my blessings) in life. I can live to keep my trial a burden, or I can live in hopes for a miracle. My choice is to live for a miracle :)

Because you should know you are good enough.

Okay. I've been posting a lot lately. I'm sorry. But I wanted to share this so that everyone could be reminded that they matter. That they are important. That they are loved. And that they ARE good enough. 

I won't go into detail, but I've been having a hard time lately seeing myself as my Heavenly Father sees me, and how Taylor sees me. I often get caught up in how the world sees me. You know what I mean. Especially if you're a woman. The world is constantly telling us that our hair is the wrong way, that we're too big, or we're too small. That we could and should be better students, wives, moms, etc. The list could go on and on. 

Yesterday Taylor told me about a talk from Elder Holland he had to read for one of his classes. I remember when this talk was given for the first time, but it's been a few years since I've heard it again. Taylor had me read it, and it honestly made such a difference, even just in my day today (even though I fell asleep on the couch until 2:30am because I was reading it..oops).

If you're feeling down about yourself..or even if you're not, I invite you to read this talk: 

{This talk is from October 2005 General Conference given by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland. Click here if you want to be taken to it on LDS.org}:

"Father Time played a rude trick on me just a few months ago. I arose one morning all bright eyed and bushy tailed, greeted the dawn with a smile—only to realize suddenly that with the birthday to be celebrated that day I now had a teenage grandchild. I thought about it for a minute and then did what any responsible, dignified adult would do. I got back in bed and pulled the covers over my head.

Traditional joking aside about the harrowing experience of raising teenagers, I want to say to my own granddaughter and the vast majority of the youth of the Church whom I meet around the world how extraordinarily proud we are of you. Moral and physical danger exists almost everywhere around you and temptations of a dozen kinds present themselves daily, yet most of you strive to do what is right.

This afternoon I wish to raise my voice in praise of you, to express my love, my encouragement, and my admiration for you. Because this precious eldest grandchild of whom I spoke is a young woman, I am going to address my remarks to the young women of the Church, but I hope the spirit of what I say can apply to women and men of all ages. However today, as Maurice Chevalier used to sing, I want to “thank heaven for little girls.”

First of all, I want you to be proud you are a woman. I want you to feel the reality of what that means, to know who you truly are. You are literally a spirit daughter of heavenly parents with a divine nature and an eternal destiny. ¹ That surpassing truth should be fixed deep in your soul and be fundamental to every decision you make as you grow into mature womanhood. There could never be a greater authentication of your dignity, your worth, your privileges, and your promise. Your Father in Heaven knows your name and knows your circumstance. He hears your prayers. He knows your hopes and dreams, including your fears and frustrations. And He knows what you can become through faith in Him. Because of this divine heritage you, along with all of your spiritual sisters and brothers, have full equality in His sight and are empowered through obedience to become a rightful heir in His eternal kingdom, an “[heir] of God, and joint-[heir] with Christ.” ² Seek to comprehend the significance of these doctrines. Everything Christ taught He taught to women as well as men. Indeed, in the restored light of the gospel of Jesus Christ, a woman, including a young woman, occupies a majesty all her own in the divine design of the Creator. You are, as Elder James E. Talmage once phrased it, “a sanctified investiture which none shall dare profane.” ³

Be a woman of Christ. Cherish your esteemed place in the sight of God. He needs you. This Church needs you. The world needs you. A woman’s abiding trust in God and unfailing devotion to things of the Spirit have always been an anchor when the wind and the waves of life were fiercest.⁴ I say to you what the Prophet Joseph said more than 150 years ago: “If you live up to your privileges, the angels cannot be restrained from being your associates.” ⁵

All of this is to try to tell you how your Father in Heaven feels about you and what He has designed for you to become. And if for a time any of you are less visionary than this or seem bent on living beneath your privilege, then we express even greater love for you and plead with you to make your teenage years a triumph, not a tragedy. Fathers and mothers, prophets and apostles have no motive except to bless your life and to spare you every possible heartache we can spare you.

For you to fully claim Heavenly Father’s blessings and protection, we ask you to stay true to the standards of the gospel of Jesus Christ and notslavishly follow the whims of fads and fashions. The Church will never deny your moral agency regarding what you should wear and exactly how you should look. But the Church will always declare standards and will always teach principles. As Sister Susan Tanner taught this morning, one of those principles is modesty. In the gospel of Jesus Christ, modesty in appearance is always in fashion. Our standards are not socially negotiable.

The For the Strength of Youth pamphlet is very clear in its call for young women to avoid clothing that is too tight, too short, or improperly revealing in any manner, including bare midriffs. ⁶ Parents, please review this booklet with your children. Second only to your love, they need your limits. Young women, choose your clothing the way you would choose your friends—in both cases choose that which improves you and would give you confidence standing in the presence of God. ⁷ Good friends would never embarrass you, demean you, or exploit you. Neither should your clothing.

I make a special appeal regarding how young women might dress for Church services and Sabbath worship. We used to speak of “best dress” or “Sunday dress,” and maybe we should do so again. In any case, from ancient times to modern we have always been invited to present our best selves inside and out when entering the house of the Lord—and a dedicated LDS chapel is a “house of the Lord.” Our clothing or footwear need never be expensive, indeed should not be expensive, but neither should it appear that we are on our way to the beach. When we come to worship the God and Father of us all and to partake of the sacramentsymbolizing the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we should be as comely and respectful, as dignified and appropriate as we can be. We should be recognizable in appearance as well as in behavior that we truly are disciples of Christ, that in a spirit of worship we are meek and lowly of heart, that we truly desire the Savior’s Spirit to be with us always.

In this same vein may I address an even more sensitive subject. I plead with you young women to please be more accepting of yourselves, including your body shape and style, with a little less longing to look like someone else. We are all different. Some are tall, and some are short. Some are round, and some are thin. And almost everyone at some time or other wants to be something they are not! But as one adviser to teenage girls said: “You can’t live your life worrying that the world is staring at you. When you let people’s opinions make you self-conscious you give away your power. … The key to feeling [confident] is to always listen to your inner self—[the real you.]” ⁸ And in the kingdom of God, the real you is “more precious than rubies.” ⁹ Every young woman is a child of destiny and every adult woman a powerful force for good. I mention adult women because, sisters, you are our greatest examples and resource for these young women. And if you are obsessing over being a size 2, you won’t be very surprised when your daughter or the Mia Maid in your class does the same and makes herself physically ill trying to accomplish it. We should all be as fit as we can be—that’s good Word of Wisdom doctrine. That means eating right and exercising and helping our bodies function at their optimum strength. We could probably all do better in that regard. But I speak here of optimum health; there is no universal optimum size.

Frankly, the world has been brutal with you in this regard. You are bombarded in movies, television, fashion magazines, and advertisements with the message that looks are everything! The pitch is, “If your looks are good enough, your life will be glamorous and you will be happy and popular.” That kind of pressure is immense in the teenage years, to say nothing of later womanhood. In too many cases too much is being done to the human body to meet just such a fictional (to say nothing of superficial) standard. As one Hollywood actress is reported to have said recently: “We’ve become obsessed with beauty and the fountain of youth. … I’m really saddened by the way women mutilate [themselves] in search of that. I see women [including young women] … pulling this up and tucking that back. It’s like a slippery slope. [You can’t get off of it.] … It’s really insane … what society is doing to women.” ¹⁰

In terms of preoccupation with self and a fixation on the physical, this is more than social insanity; it is spiritually destructive, and it accounts for much of the unhappiness women, including young women, face in the modern world. And if adults are preoccupied with appearance—tucking and nipping and implanting and remodeling everything that can be remodeled—those pressures and anxieties will certainly seep through to children. At some point the problem becomes what the Book of Mormoncalled “vain imaginations.” ¹¹ And in secular society both vanity andimagination run wild. One would truly need a great and spacious makeup kit to compete with beauty as portrayed in media all around us. Yet at the end of the day there would still be those “in the attitude of mocking and pointing their fingers” as Lehi saw, ¹² because however much one tries in the world of glamour and fashion, it will never be glamorous enough.

A woman not of our faith once wrote something to the effect that in her years of working with beautiful women she had seen several things they all had in common, and not one of them had anything to do with sizes and shapes. She said the loveliest women she had known had a glow of health, a warm personality, a love of learning, stability of character, and integrity. If we may add the sweet and gentle Spirit of the Lord carried by such a woman, then this describes the loveliness of women in any age or time, every element of which is emphasized in and attainable through the blessings of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

May I conclude. Much has been said lately in entertainment media about the current craze for “reality shows.” I am not sure what those are, but from the bottom of my heart I share this gospel reality with the beautiful generation of young women growing up in this Church.

My solemn declaration to you is that the Father and the Son did in very fact appear to the Prophet Joseph Smith, himself a young man called by God from your very age group. I testify that these divine beings spoke to him, that he heard Their eternal voices, and he saw Their glorified bodies.¹³ That experience was as real in its own setting as the Apostle Thomas’s was when the Savior said to him, “Reach hither thy finger, and behold my hands; and reach hither thy hand, and thrust it into my side: … be not faithless, but [be] believing.” ¹⁴

To my granddaughter and to every other young person in this Church I bear my personal witness that God is in reality our Father and Jesus Christ is in reality His Only Begotten Son in the flesh, the Savior and Redeemer of the world. I testify that this really is the Church and kingdom of God on earth, that true prophets have led this people in the past and a true prophet, President Gordon B. Hinckley, leads it now. May you know the unending love the leaders of the Church have for you and may you let the eternal realities of the gospel of Jesus Christ lift you above temporal concerns and teenage anxieties I pray, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."